The Cornhusker Vortex Quotes

Leonard: Come on, Sheldon, please teach me football. I’ll be fun.
Sheldon: That’s exactly what my father said. Come to the games. Watch the games. Week in and week out, from the time I was five until I went off to college—longest seven years of my life.

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Leonard: Sheldon, how do you know this stuff?
Sheldon: I grew up in Texas. Football is ubiquitous in Texas. There’s pro football, college football, high school football, peewee football. In fact, every form of football except the original, European football, which most Texans believe to be a Commie plot.
Leonard: Unbelievable.
Sheldon: If you’re interested, I also know all about frying meat that isn’t chicken as if it were chicken.

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Raj: You always do this, you know. You ditch me for a woman you don’t have a shot with.
Howard: I totally had a shot!
Raj: With a woman you were chasing through a park? That’s not a shot, that’s a felony!

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Sheldon: Alright, Poindexter, sit down, shut up, and listen.
Leonard: I’m sorry?
Sheldon: Oh, that’s how my father always began our football conversations, and if you’d like, after the game I’ll take you outside and teach you to shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself.